it's all beeyooteefool -

October 10, 2009

@10:53 PM

today during p&p worship prac i was suddenly flooded & reminded of God's amazing blessings :)

for block test 1, i was chocked full with band pracs for syf, H3 test, & worship pracs (still leading p&p then); for block test 2, the weekend before the bulk of the papers, i was occupied the whole saturday and >half of sunday doing youth sunday stuff; for prelims, i neglected some subjects and slacked off quite occasionally doing things like going to the airport and camping in front of the comp to sound horns (mousehunt).

yet God has proven amazingly faithful, and while my results aren't stellar, they're more than i deserve and i truly truly am thankful beyond words.

throughout this year there's been so many times that i've strayed, so many things that i've been distracted by. i can't even begin to count the number of times i've led or played for worship and felt like a freaking hypocrite because i'm telling ppl to not do the very things i've committed. there's even some really shameless moments that i count the number of hours i spend in church a weekend (7-10 hrs) and calculate that if i spent it studying instead i might get more As.

but God is God, and He has pulled me through. He who sees all my horrible thoughts and shameful deeds, He has still showered me boundlessly with blessings and love. sometimes when even i can't stand myself, He reaches out His hand to hold mine, to touch my heart. He offers His embrace, and even His shoulder for me to cry on.

how do our human words: awesome / amazing / wonderful / magnificent etc even vaguely begin to describe Him? i think chris tomlin got it best when he said 'indescribable, incomparable' :)

i don't know what i will get for As, but above all, i know that He will be with me as i strive to run this last mile in my JC life. that He is the one who will cheer me on, offer me water, wipe my sweat away. whatever the wretched piece of paper that i get in Feb/Mar '10 says, i really hope that i will be at peace, because it is all in His plan, & because He knows my future.

thank You, Lord :)

'My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.' Psalm 62:1-2

& i embraced the world;